Author Archives: vpdot

Letter to DirectTV/Dish Network

Dear satellite TV providers,

First of all – CONGRATULATIONS! to India. What a nail biting finish.

Of course, thanks to your dumb policies, I had to listen to a live audio from the folks at theindicast.com( thanks guys, it was a lot of fun! I’ll be sure to donate.)

As India made their inspiring and unexpected way to the finals of the inaugural Twenty20 World Cup, satellite subscribers like me scrambled to find out if there was some way to get a live broadcast of the finals at a reasonable price. But thanks to the stranglehold WillowTV and the satellite companies have on the telecast rights, the only way I could do it was to subscribe to the entire package for $99.

Now I would love to watch as much Indian cricket as possible, but there is no way my thrifty Indian brain is going to process paying a 100 bucks for a single match. I am sure many of my countrymen feel the same way and would rather look for a bootleg telecast on the internet risking serious viral harm to their computers rather than shell out big bucks in the face of the Indian cricket team’s erratic form

Here’s what I suggest to the marketing geniuses at these companies – unbundle your services and offer each match on a pay-per-view basis. You can even institute a sliding scale – say $10 for the earlier matches and up to $25 for the semifinals and finals. Heck, even if you had priced each match at $20, you would have picked up so many fence sitters like me who would have paid to watch their own country play.

It’s just marketing 101. By targeting only the die-hard fans who can afford your exorbitant fees, you are cutting out a bulk of the market. Take a lesson from the FMCG companies who sell little shampoo sachets for Rs. 2 at the corner kirana. They understand the Indian mentality. It’s about time you figured it out too.

Sincerely,

Vidya Pradhan

Good ‘news’ for your kids

By Vidya Pradhan

our-little-earth-logo.jpgOur Indian community is known for its obsession with the education of its children and sometimes we make enormous personal and professional sacrifices to make sure our kids are in the right environment and the right school. While there are many public schools around the bay which meet the rigorous standards of Asian parents, when it comes to keeping the kids abreast on current events, even the best schools fall short. Continue reading

The movies of the 60's

Indulging in a fit of nostalgia, I have lately been devouring Hindi movies from the sixties – a time when heroes had names like Ashok, Vinod and Rajesh and heroines were Sunita, Asha and Sushma. Directors were so enthralled with Eastman color that they instructed the sets to be saturated with neon colours – often leading to shocking pink sofas on crimson carpets. The men were strong and suffered silently and the women were wholesome, curvaceous and generally spoke with a strong South Indian accent.

I’ve realized that many of the clichés that we associate with Bollywood were spawned in the 60s. To name a few –

– The autocratic/repentant father – The roles now routinely carried out by Amitabh in movies like Mohabbatein and K3G were once the province of Nasir Hussain, who showed up in virtually every movie spouting dialogues like “Tumne bhare samaj mein mujhe badnaam kiya hai,” before booting the offending son or daughter out of said samaj. Of course, at the end when all the misunderstandings were sorted out, he would beg for forgiveness. “Mujhe maaf kar de beta,” he would sob, doing a rapid swipe at his child’s feet, sending a delightful chill up the patriarchically oppressed audiences’ spines.

– The suffering mother – Sharmila Tagore may have essayed the role of the tragic mother in Aradhana, but this part was dominated by Nirupa Roy, who was estranged from her son and blinded in the process in so many movies that she probably permanently carried around a pair of dark glasses and vial of glycerine.

– The comic sidekick – Rajendranath and a host of lesser known starlets provided the comic relief to the three hour sagas of suffering and woe. Never too funny to begin with and more slapstick than wit, the role steadily degenerated into the vulgar and unfunny antics of Johnny Lever and co by the 80s.

– Separation and reunion – Once again, Nirupa Roy cornered the market for this plot device, where convoluted situations involved fairs, temples or fallen women. Often a birthmark or birth swaddling provided the key to identification leading to the much spoofed “Bhaiyyaa…!”

– Loss of virtue – It was rare that the heroine fell victim to the debauched villain. It was usually the sad lot of the heroine’s friend or sister to be snared by the oily but charming cad, leaving the hero to come to the rescue and impress the girlfriend. “Mathe ka kalank” was an oft used phrase, succeeded by summary ejection from the surroundings.

– The shotgun wedding – Once the virtue taker was brought to justice, he was summarily married off to the hapless victim in what has to be an enormous leap of faith in the institution.

– The dancer – A long line of lovely ladies did what the heroine could not– wear shimmering, sexy clothes, live an independent life, smoke, drink, cuss and eventually come to sticky end for daring to have a mind of their own.

– The misunderstanding – A theme that ran through a majority of movies in the 60s was a misunderstanding between the hero and the heroine usually caused by catching the hero in a compromising situation with the dancer. This had the virtue of being able to drag along a wafer thin plot line for the requisite 16 reels. Somehow, it never occurred to the parties involved to just talk it out, and thanks to the absence of DNA testing, the story of the hero’s illegitimate child was swallowed hook line and sinker by ‘autocratic father’ and the virtuous heroine.

– The volte-face – The villains of the sixties were the mostly the non-violent sort, restricting their villainy to drinking, boozing, carousing and ill-treating their wives. At the end of the movies, they would have an instant change of heart – a fantasy denouement that surely met with the approval of many oppressed spouses in the audience.
– The unsatisfactory ending – Eventually, everybody walks off into the sunset, somehow managing to shrug off the death of a parent, a jail term, ugly familial confrontations, blinding and abuse with a stoicism worthy of followers of the Gita.

All you need to do to sample a typical example of this genre is to rent ‘Aya Sawan Jhoom Ke,’ which manages to incorporate every single one of these stereotypes and some.

Enjoy your trip down memory lane.

What is Indian ? A Culture Conundrum

By Arvind Srinivasan

Identity Crisis

Superman has Kryptonite, Batman has the Joker, Rama had Ravana, and President Bush has “nucular,” but none of these heroes, if we use a broad sense of the term, have antagonists that hold a candle to what I have had to deal with my entire life. The knife to my heart is not simply a fear of heights, snakes, tests, or a breakup with my invisible girlfriend, but much more profound. My complexity complex is…the idli. Continue reading

The Bhagavad Gita – Chapter 2 contd.

By Gaurav Rastogi

The style, and other reflections

I noted last time that there are some very striking things about the Bhagavad Gita that leap out at the modern reader. The writing style is very mathematical and tight and relatively free of the “Indian mystical” style that seems all the rage these days. Also, there seems to be some solid science (and science fiction) behind the assertions in Chapter 2. Continue reading

What is normal?

In the first 3 years of his life, we were so busy dealing with our son’s eczema and various severe allergies that we really didn’t pay any attention to his personality. Then he started school. School, which is unkind to boys to begin with, has a way of sharply underscoring the qualities that set a child apart from others. Our son was dreamy, distracted and had a tendency to keep to himself. He would look anywhere but at the teacher but be able to answer any questions on the subject being discussed – a parlor trick that caused no end of amazement to the adults interacting with him.

This was over half a dozen years ago, when behavioral disorders were not as much in the cultural mainstream as they are today. Still, we knew he was not like the other kids. I would like to say that we were enlightened enough to know he didn’t need to be tested, but it was most likely the social stigma which kept us from getting him a ‘label’.

Over the course of the years, the 3 guidelines I followed every time I wondered if he really needed external intervention were as follows –

Could he make eye contact and carry on a conversation?

Was he coping at school?

Did he have the ability to make friends and keep them?

So long as the answers to the three questions were in the affirmative, I decided he was ok – different but ok.

Now an excellent article in Newsweek discusses ‘quirky’ kids and how the definition of normal has changed over the years.

 

More and more, kids who once would have been considered slightly out of step with their peers are emerging with diagnoses of sensory-integration dysfunction, dyspraxia and pervasive developmental disorder, to name a few.

I know this is true from personal experience. If ‘normal’ is a band in the behavior spectrum, that band has been shrinking dramatically. I notice that my son feels less and less out of place as the years go by, not because he has changed in any noticeable way, but that many of the kids around him have behavioral ‘issues’ that once would have just been called personality traits.

The Newsweek article goes on to say –

 

If we examine ourselves and those around us….we have to admit that everyone is, to a certain extent, odd….So when we worry about our kids’ strange behavior, is it because they deviate from our own expectations of what life should be like for a ‘well adjusted’ 5-, 7-, or 12-year old, or is it because the person in front of us is struggling way more than she should?

I guess the middle road between a behavioral diagnosis from experts and ignoring a potentially serious condition is to make sure your child is capable of coping and navigating his or her world. After that, it is up to us to celebrate your child’s differences.

The postscript to our experiences with our son’s quirkiness is that 6 years after he was born, we had a baby daughter. She is the poster child for ‘normal’. No matter how thin that band of acceptable behavior gets she will always be plumb in the middle of it. She is an uncomplicated child, a joy to have around and a breeze to bring up. And yet, I sometimes catch myself wishing she was a little more imaginative, a little more generous, sensitive and thoughtful – a little more like my quirky, difficult son.

A Techno Maya Jaal

By Rohini Mohan

How long has it been since you wrote a letter in long hand and on a piece of paper?
Funny how we’ve wandered into an era in which we are more comfortable communicating with inanimate objects than we are in talking to live humans. We feel secure only if we are hooked up electronically 24/7. Laptop, Blackberry, and Cell phone, (read as I-phone), are as important for our sustenance as Dal and Roti. Continue reading

Star VOI September 14th – the best episode ever

Whether it was the presence of the mummyjis and papajis and nanijis or the sheer sentimentality of the songs, this particular episode was a keeper.

When Irfan sang Lukka Chuppi( originally sung by Lata Mangeshkar and A.R. Rahman) he really elevated what till then I had considered a rather pedestrian number. It is a pity they don’t have the concept of singles in India because if ever a song deserves some serious air time, it is this one, in this voice.

Every participant poured their heart out in song and made the sentimental audience, including the judges, dissolve into tears. Thankfully, I was able to fast-forward all the senti bits involving the mummyjis and pappajis feeding their kids on stage, and probably ended up enjoying the show much more than viewers forced to put up with all the corny speeches and the stage-managed pandering which actually diminishes the real emotional impact of the performances.

Predictably, Mirande was voted out. My belief that it will be one of the guys who wins VOI now is on a firmer footing since the gender ratio is now 2:1, though Sumitra has consistently stayed out of trouble in the last few weeks.

I think VOI should bring out today’s performances out on CD( or I-tunes, since the CD seems to be a vanishing specimen here in the US). Worth every penny.

Bollywood in the Valley

By Vidya Pradhan

kria-entertainment-logo1.jpgA plaintive mass email reached my inbox recently. “I am thila from Malaysia,” went the email(typos intact), “I have always been a movie freak since I was young. Somehow, since the past few years, I kept thinking of writing stories for movies especially Indian movies. In fact, I have written two movie stories and even send it to Revathy madam via e-mail. Unfortunately, there was no reply….I even send my stories to Hrithik's mailing address three years ago but there was no reply. Send it to Vinu Vinod Chopra but no reply too. I am currently working but I know for sure that this Job is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I would really really appreciate it if you could help me on this matter.” Whether Malaysia or Mongolia, the lure of Bollywood is getting irresistible. Can Silicon Valley be far behind? Continue reading

It’s a spoof, for heaven’s sake!

The appeal of Bollywood can be perplexing to lovers of serious cinema, but there’s no denying the profound influence big studio movies have had on people of my generation. Our formative years were shaped by tales of reuniting brothers, heroic tales of good and evil, and love in the face of parental opposition and social stratification. Our cultural moorings are so steeped in movie lore that when two South Asian strangers meet, all it takes is a filmy reference to break the ice and find a common dialogue.

 

Given the clichéd, inane and often insane nature of Bollywood movies, one would have though they were ripe for a good satirical look at what makes them tick. The closest Bollywood has come to self-examination is Farah Khan’s Main Hoon Na, which, far from being a satire, is a loving tribute to the magic and inexplicable appeal of these corny melodramas. The movie employs every Bollywood/Hollywood cliché that makes the viewer gasp in disbelief while cramming the popcorn – from Ram and Lakshman the separated brothers, Mission Impossible style action, spit that makes its Matrix-like way to the heroes face, and of course, the climactic explosion. The genius of the movie is in its cheeky self-awareness – ‘Look,’ it says to the viewers, ‘this is what you love, whether it makes sense or not.’

 

Well, Farah Khan laughed all the way to the bank that time. Her new offering, Om Shanti Om promises to be more of the same, using another time-tested plot device – reincarnation- to explore the evolution of Bollywood from the 1970’s to the present day. The movie has apparently already been sold to Adlabs for a staggering 88 crores, but the real buzz in the movie is coming from Shahrukh’s 6-pack which has already generated the kind of crazy media attention that makes you want to put your head in your hands in despair.

 

See for yourself. 🙂

 

 

Predictably, this has brought out the worst in bloggers, with people commenting on how creepy it looks to have a 44 year old face pasted on a 24 year old bod( ok there’s a little truth to that!) and how SRK is trying to ape Hrithik in the worst possible way. It seems his acting cred, which had risen considerably with Chak de, is taking a real pounding, even with OSO being a couple of months away from its release.

But if you take a closer look at the song( and I have taken many !) you can see it is a complete spoof of the current trend of ripped abs and buffed pecs. And no one can carry off the wink-wink, nod-nod self caricature better than SRK can. When asked if this is the beginning of a ‘shirtless’ trend for him, he replied, ‘No, but I’m willing to go pantless.’ On an interview on Koffee with Karan, he took a good natured swipe at the age-difference between him and his co-star, Deepika Padukone by commenting, “I fully expected her to say, ‘I love you uncle !’” Oh he knows what he’s doing, and so does director Farah Khan.

Expect an energetic, enthusiastic, fun-filled, send-up of the movies when you go to see OSO but for heaven’s sake, leave your brains at the door. It is not supposed to make sense.