Good Job Mom,

The article is completely true!

Love, Raaghav

Great article!!!

We often forget that even with children that do not have special needs there can be temper tantrums and inappropriate behavior. Although it is no where near the same, the empathy should be there. As a teacher for autistic and developmentally delayed preschoolers, I do my best to instill in our students not only the basic curriculum, but joy. After all they are children!

Hi Nandini, The article is wonderful! I’m so glad you wrote it. Please keep writing… hugs to Rishab, Vibha

Nandini,
So wonderfully said and I couldn’t agree more with each and every point you made.
I hope that what you have brought up here is repeated many times until everyone has a chance to listen and hear. Perhaps we need to learn to go beyond just tolerance and open our hearts.

Its hight time now that public must be familiar with this etiquette. As a mother of a 13 year old boy affected with autism always suffer the same scenarios though this doesn’t stop me taking my son as often as I could. But how many time do I need to tell the passers by that its not a show whenever he throw tantrums or make some “unofficial” sound.
We can use the media to support us on this battle.
We parents should work hand in hand to make this come true.
Thanks Nandini.

Hi Nandini,
Great article.Being a special needs mom to a fragile-x child,whose behavior can give good ABA experts a run for their money,I wish ur article could be read by a larger forum.Sometimes I wonder how should one respond to comments like-’Thats so annoying’ or ’shouldn’t you tell him something ?’
Often I miserably explain that child is disabled/unwell/has adhd,as little as I can get away with without feeling too tired.Usually after most people turn immediately sympathetic,but that saddens one as there is a thin between compassion and pity.
vimal

Nandini,
Your words are very thoughtfully spoken and well written. We should always remember that children challenged by autism are CHILDREN FIRST! No one should be judged by their outward appearance and all should be loved and accepted just because they are here. The golden rule still applies “Do unto others as you want done unto yourself”. Thank you for reminding us to have manners and respect for all people!
Janna

This article was SO well written! As the mother of an autistic son and a daughter with Asperger’s/ADHD, the article is matter-of-fact and not preachy or judgmental at all. I only wish this was published in a mainstream format so EVERYONE, regardless of their position in society, could read and understand a condition that is more prevalent than the average person thinks.

This article should be read by everyone is the society. The awarness about “Autism” need to be spread across so that parents like us can take there “Not typical children” out in society more often and without stress.
Our kids will get benefited only by letting them be in the community more.

Minal

thank all who have read this article & have responded with their kind comments. It was a relief to hear from the parents of other children with special needs, that they did identify with what I had to say. I was afraid to sound like the voice of a community without having received their mandate to do so.

I also want to thank Vidya who thought of the concept of the article & then added so much by making my rambling words more readable.

Thank you

Nandini

Very well written article from a parents perspective. As a special ed. teacher I have been in similar situations on field trips. Our children do have meltdowns in new situations and places with a lot of stimulations. While we are helping the child we have to also be aware of people around us who are glancing at us or as Nandini said” stares of disapproval, shaking heads and accusatory looks”. Over a period of time I have learnt to smile at them and let them know that the child needs space and time.I can understand how difficult it is for a parent. You have to remember that he/she( child with special needs) is a part of the society and has the right to be there. Unless he/she has the opportunities to be out in the society it is hard for them to learn.
I also strongly believe that we should use the term ” child with special needs” and not “a special needs child”.
We should not disregard that he/she is a child first and look for all the abilities each child with special needs have. I approach it as ” Children with Different Abilities”. I have known Rishab personally and remember the time when he sang for the Talent Show at school. There was pindrop silence when he started to sing. WOW!

Great piece…

Nietzsche comes to mind - “And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music”

Recognize that to care for anyone else enough to make their problems one’s own, is ever the beginning of one’s real ethical development. How far we go in life depends on our being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged and challenged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life we will have been all of these.

Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower.

Attitudes are the real figures of speech.

Hi Nandini,

Very Well written article. As a mother of an Autistic child I could relate to every single line in your article, which all seemed so meaningful.

Rupi.

Very nicely written article, Nandini. I’m glad you brought out the fact that Autism is not just about melt-downs, it’s also about odd behaviors; and also that speech delays do not indicate lower mental levels.

Hi Nandini: congrats on a very well-written article! You have accurately verbalized the thoughts of many parents like myself who have a special-needs child and regularly face situations similar to what you have described.

Excellent article Nandini. The 8 thoughtful points you have written in this article can be printed and passed around as flyers!

A lot of folks don’t realize that a simple understanding attitude towards the family can make such a huge different for the parents as well as the kid in that particular situation. Your article rocks !

Dear WNI,
This article has come not a day soon! Though written with reference to people with autism, at many levels this article is a behaviour Bible for all. Yes, we could all learn from kids who are exposed to disabled children. And empathy is recognition and acceptance. Beautifully written. Kudos to you!

Dear Nandini:

I salute you for your courage and candor in posting this article. In my limited view of the world, I find that parents of autistic children have their own barriers to overcome in acknowledging the elephant in the room. A big part of this is their hope that their child would pass off for ‘normal’.

In today’s world where 1 in 150 children may fall in the autistic spectrum, it is time parents of all stripes to understand the realities and at least be aware of how they could respond. I appreciate your offering us these insights.

In closing, I’d like to recall a rather amazing parent and soccer coach, Kevin. We started the season with this kid who would not take direction, would be extremely disruptive and refuse to cooperate at the most critical times. Kevin did not cut him any slack nor did he show any sign of resentment - a tough ask for a coach as competitive as he is. At the end of the season this child was as proud hoisting his trophy as the rest were and if you didn’t know it, you could not tell he was any different from the rest of his team.

I daresay there are a few mor parents of Kevin’s sort of out there.

Cheers
Srini