Parent Talk – Episode 19 – Bullying

5.0Parent Talk is a radio show broadcast on Radio Zindagi 1550 AM in the SF Bay Area every Saturday at 10 a.m PST. The show is hosted by me and sponsored by the India Community Center.

On March 3, 2012 I talked to family therapist intern Geetha Narayanan and American High School junior Rajat Maheshwari about the bullying issue. What constitutes bullying? How do you know if your child is being bullied? How do you know if your child is a bully? What can you do to help your child?

We also had call-in guest Mary Gilder who used to be a bully as a child and now passionately advocates against bullying and offers help and advice.

Here is the recording of the show:

[mp3player width=200 height=200 config=parent-talk.xml playlist=parent-talk-bullying.xml]

After the show, Geetha had a few more suggestions:

POINTS ABOUT BULLYING FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KIDS:
– Tell them they are not alone if they are being bullied.
– Create play date/sleep over rules. Create this with your child. Keep it in a place where both of you can see it every day.
– Remind them of the rules when they leave the house.
– Teach empathic communication skills.
– Keep telling them that as parents it is your job to keep them safe, if your child is annoyed by your reminding them.
– If they are attending a birthday party, tell them that it is a special day for the birthday child.  The child may not have that much fun with the birthday child as it is not one-on-one.
– Help the child imagine how would they want their birthday party to be.
– Some elementary kids may get tired due to over stimulation especially attending birthday parties. If they feel it is too much or if they do not want to stay for a sleep over, tell them that they have a choice to come back. There is no pressure if they feel too tired. Or some kids may not be ready for a sleep over for a long time. Tell them it is okay.
– Parents ensure there is enough adult supervision.
Some situations, if the parents are best friends and have kids of the same age, the kids do not get along. As parents we could tell the kids that they do not need be ‘Best Friends’, they do not need to be hurtful to each other also.
If you feel it is appropriate you can also include the recent incident in Rutgers University. I believe the teen is on trial.
HOW DO I STAY CYBER-SAFE: (FOR TEENS):
– Never post or share your personal information online (includes your full name, address, telephone number, date of birth, parents’ names, credit card number or social security number or your friends’ personal information).
– Never share your internet passwords with any one, except your parents.
– Never meet anyone face-to-face whom you only know online.
– Talk to your parents about what you do online.
WHAT PARENTS CAN DO:
– Keep your home computer in a busy area of your house.
– Set up email and chat accounts with your children. Make sure you know their screen names and passwords, not include their personal information on their online profiles.
– Find out who each person is in their “buddy list”. Ask who each person is and how your children know him or her.
– Discuss cyberbullying with your children and ask if they have ever experienced it or seen it happen to someone.
– Tell your children that you won’t blame them if they are cyberbullied. Emphasize that you won’t take away their computer privileges – this is the main reason kids don’t tell adults when they are cyberbullied.
– We as parents may not have all the answers immediately some times. Tell them that we (you and your teen) can work together to find the answers that are safe.
WEBSITE RESOURCES FOR BULLIES/CYBERBULLIES:
http://www.bullypolice.org – Bullying and Cyberbullying laws by state
MOVIES:
– American Girl Movie – Chrissa (for elementary school girls) – Could use it for boys also. To teach them to not alienate any one during recess. This is a good example of Secret Bully. In the end the girls do not become best friends. They come together to participate in a swim meet and win.
– The clique – (for middle school girls)
– Mean Girls – (for high school girls)
– Bully – old movie released in 2001 – Think it is R rated – violent, language and sex, murder.
– Bully – the one you had suggested.

POINTS ABOUT BULLYING FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KIDS:

– Tell them they are not alone if they are being bullied.

– Create play date/sleep over rules. Create this with your child. Keep it in a place where both of you can see it every day.

– Remind them of the rules when they leave the house.

– Keep telling them that as parents it is your job to keep them safe, if your child is annoyed by your reminding them.

– Parents, ensure there is enough adult supervision in any environment your child is likely to be in.

HOW DO I STAY CYBER-SAFE: (FOR TEENS):

– Never post or share your personal information online (includes your full name, address, telephone number, date of birth, parents’ names, credit card number or social security number or your friends’ personal information).

– Never share your internet passwords with any one, except your parents.

– Never meet anyone face-to-face whom you only know online.

– Talk to your parents about what you do online.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO:

– Keep your home computer in a busy area of your house.

– Set up email and chat accounts with your children. Make sure you know their screen names and passwords, not include their personal information on their online profiles.

– Find out who each person is in their “buddy list”. Ask who each person is and how your children know him or her.

– Discuss cyberbullying with your children and ask if they have ever experienced it or seen it happen to someone.

– Tell your children that you won’t blame them if they are cyberbullied. Emphasize that you won’t take away their computer privileges – this is the main reason kids don’t tell adults when they are cyberbullied.

– We as parents may not have all the answers immediately some times. Tell them that we (you and your teen) can work together to find the answers that are safe.

WEBSITE RESOURCES FOR BULLIES/CYBERBULLIES:

www.kickbully.com

www.stopbullyingnow.com

www.bullypolice.org – Bullying and Cyberbullying laws by state

www.ncpc.org/topicscyberbullying

www.stopcyberbullying.org

www.wiredsafety.com

MOVIES:

American Girl Movie – Chrissa (for elementary school girls) – Could use it for boys also. To teach them to not alienate any one during recess. This is a good example of “Secret Bullying”.

The Clique – (for middle school girls)

Mean Girls – (for high school girls)

–  Bully ( releasing March 30, 2012)

Send in your thoughts and feedback to radio@indiacc.org.

2 thoughts on “Parent Talk – Episode 19 – Bullying

  1. Visalakshi Gopalakrishnan

    Hi Vidya,
    First all wanted to say that I really enjoy your show and I really appreciate the efforts that you haven to address topics that most Asian families brush it off as insignificant or ask concerned person to suck it up in name of trying to fit in!
    I am a vivid listener of radio talk shows and based on my “listener experience” I
    have few comments
    1) I feel its very important to always re-introduce your guest after every break, so that whenever the listeners tune in, they know who the guests are and not just the
    topic of the day
    2) I wanted to hear more what the guest had to say about this topic other than the hostess. To some extent Ms/Mrs Geeta had her say towards the end. It would have been interesting to hear Mr. Rajat’s opinion too more about his experience as a high school junior. Mary had a good input.
    3) Callers should be screened and asked to be short and to the point. That way it gives more scope for other callers and for the show to be more interesting and interactive.

    I hope the above points help your show in some ways if possible, but in no way are they intended to be offensive or to patronize you 😐

    Like

    Reply
    1. Vidya Pradhan Post author

      Thanks for the comments Visalakshi, will keep them in mind for the next show. It is always helpful to hear from listeners and get feedback. Thanks for listening!

      Like

      Reply

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