Parent Talk Episode 30: Mindful Parenting

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On Saturday May 19, I talked to Gayathri Narayanan and Robert Niederman about Mindful Parenting. The concept is that the parent-child relationship does not need to be adversarial and confrontational. What I took away from this show is that kids, no matter how young, need to feel that they are valued as individuals and that their feelings and thoughts are important. It sounded too good to be true, but my guests firmly believed that just acknowledging your child’s point of view would go a long way in defusing the tension in the parent-child relationship. At the end of show I brought a cool camp for teens to the listeners’ attentions. It is a fun and rewarding camp for the socially conscious teen and is run by the Bay Area Solidarity Summer group. More info at http://www.solidaritysummer.org/

Here is the recording of the show.

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Here are some other resources for the parent interested in learning more about the mindful parenting technique.

Books

Kohn, Alfie. Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason. New York: Atria Books, 2005.

Rosenberg, Marshall. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. California: PuddleDancer Press, 2001.

Siegel, Daniel J., and Mary Hartzell. Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive. New York: Penguin Press, 2004.

Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York: Bantam Books, 1995.

Gottman, John. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1997.

Grille, Robin. Parenting for a Peaceful World. New York: Longueville Press, 2005.

Websites

http://www.echoparenting.org/

http://www.cnvc.org/

http://www.alfiekohn.org/index.php

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2730447/ (this is a paper on mindful parenting)

Youtube Videos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu7wEr8AnHw (Daniel Siegel’s TED talk)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awzf-wzao1Y (Alfie Kohn)

ICC Parent Talk is a weekly radio show sponsored by the India Community Center. It airs on Radio Zindagi, 1550 AM, live on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. The call in number for the show is 510-7701550.

If you have questions or comments about the show, or if you would like to participate on the show, please drop me a line at radio@indiacc.org. For news about the upcoming shows, check out the ICC Parent Talk page.

Parent Talk May 19: Non-violent Parenting

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On Saturday May 19, I will be talking to Gayathri Narayanan and Robert Niederman about Mindful Parenting. The concept is that the parent-child relationship does not need to be adversarial and confrontational. But can we bring up kids without ever using a carrot and stick approach? I don’t think so, but my guests are going to try to prove me wrong.

ICC Parent Talk is a weekly radio show sponsored by the India Community Center. It airs on Radio Zindagi, 1550 AM, live on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. The call in number for the show is 510-7701550.

If you have questions or comments about the show, or if you would like to participate on the show, please drop me a line at radio@indiacc.org. For news about the upcoming shows, check out the ICC Parent Talk page.

Parent Talk Episode 29: The Making of a TT Champion

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Saturday May 12: The ICC Table Tennis Program is one of the most successful in the world. In a matter of 7 years, super coach and program director Rajul Sheth has taken it from a community center activity to a world class trainer of champions. I was very lucky to be able to interview the three members of the Olympic Team from the ICC TT program as well as coach Rajul on the secrets of his success.

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TT 2012 fund pic 4

Parent Talk is a weekly radio show sponsored by the India Community Center. It airs on Radio Zindagi, 1550 AM, live on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. The call in number for the show is 510-7701550.

If you have questions or comments about the show, or if you would like to participate on the show, please drop me a line at radio@indiacc.org. For news about the upcoming shows, check out the Parent Talk page.

Parent Talk Episode 29 – Speech/Language Therapy

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Saturday May 5: Do your kids have a speech issue? What kind of services are available? How does the parent get the resources and services that can best help the child? I talked to speech and language pathologist Namita Maunder to find out. Check out the recording below.

[mp3player width=150 height=150 config=parent-talk.xml file=https://waternoice.com/wp-content/uploads/Parent-Talk-Episode-29-Speech-Therapy.mp3]

Parent Talk is a weekly radio show sponsored by the India Community Center. It airs on Radio Zindagi, 1550 AM, live on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. The call in number for the show is 510-7701550.

If you have questions or comments about the show, or if you would like to participate on the show, please drop me a line at radio@indiacc.org. For news about the upcoming shows, check out the Parent Talk page.

Parent Talk Episode 28: Speech/Language

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May is better speech and hearing month. On Saturday May 5, I will be talking to speech pathologist Namita Maunder about the speech and language issues she routinely comes into contact with, and what options are available to parents.

Parent Talk is a weekly radio show sponsored by the India Community Center. It airs on Radio Zindagi, 1550 AM, live on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. The call in number for the show is 510-7701550.

If you have questions or comments about the show, or if you would like to participate on the show, please drop me a line at radio@indiacc.org. For news about the upcoming shows, check out the Parent Talk page.

Parent Talk Episode 28: Kids and Money

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Saturday April 28: An interesting talk with Sudhir Kulkarni, advisor to online money managing site for kids guluck.com, and financial consultant Neepa Shah about helping kids be more responsible with money. Some interesting issues that came up: What do you do when kids want to spend their own money on things you don’t approve of? How do you give kids a sense of the value of money when we live in a time of plenty? Check out the recording below.

[mp3player width=150 height=150 config=parent-talk.xml file=https://waternoice.com/wp-content/uploads/Parent-Talk-Episode-27-Kids-and-Money.mp3]

Parent Talk is a weekly radio show sponsored by the India Community Center. It airs on Radio Zindagi, 1550 AM, live on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. The call in number for the show is 510-7701550.

If you have questions or comments about the show, or if you would like to participate on the show, please drop me a line at radio@indiacc.org. For news about the upcoming shows, check out the Parent Talk page.

Vicky Donor: A Pleasant Surprise

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vickydonorBollywood’s formula has always been to take run-of-the-mill themes and melodramatize the heck out of them – the lovers from different social classes, the son taking revenge on his father’s killer, the love triangle. So when a movie does the exact opposite, taking an outlandish theme and treating it as a normal, everyday phenomenon, it comes as a welcome surprise.

Vicky Donor has an absurd, far-fetched premise; whoever heard of someone making a living off of sperm donation? But Vicky Arora  (Anshumann Khurrana) does, and his story is told with panache and sensitivity. The film could have easily veered into caricature and sexploitation any number of times, but director Shoojit Sircar handles the tough subject with incredible deftness, never once making the audience uncomfortable, even though the word “sperm” is as plentiful in the dialogues as Vicky’s “contributions”. The laughs come from the authentic North Indian dialogues and the situations, not from embarassment. Best of all, everyone in the film seems like an average grounded person, not a star emoting for the camera. In fact, Vicky Donor almost feels like a documentary on the virtues of sperm donation, though one that is genuinely funny and heart-warming.

Sircar achieves this feat by casting relative unknowns who, nevertheless, are completely comfortable with their unusual roles. Khurrana, who debuts in Bollywood with this movie, is a TV host with an engaging boy-next-door appeal. His comic timing is impeccable and his “Lajpat Nagar”  mannerisms are pitch perfect in Vicky Donor. Yaami Gautam, who plays Ashima, Vicky’s Bengali love interest, also comes from TV. Both the leads are restrained, letting the supporting actors chew up the scenery.

Among those is Annu Kapoor as Dr. Chaddha, the infertility specialist who nags Vicky into his occupation. Kapoor seems to be playing a version of himself, so this is an easy role for him. My favorites in the movie were Vicky’s mom Dolly, played by the excellent Dolly Ahluwalia, and Biji, Vicky’s grandmother, played by theater actress Kamlesh Gill. The interactions between the two are the highlight of the movie. The two characters are wonderfully drawn and elicit the most laughs and sympathy; they seem so real that it feels like they were inspired by family members of the script writer.

And that brings us to the real hero of the film – the script written by Juhi Chaturvedi. This is her first script for Hindi movies and I wish there was a way to keep track of her future work because this script is just brilliant. Even though the dialogues may be a bit of a slog for folks not familiar with the Punjabi-heavy Hindi of the north, they are just very, very clever and funny.

The songs (all of which play in the background) are excellent too, and make me want to look them up online. The new Bollywood trend of letting the songs serve as a backdrop to the movie rather than have the actors lip-synch to them is such a relief; for one, it brings a much needed dose of realism to the proceedings. Second, it allows for a variety of singing talents,  not just the conventional hero-heroine voices that dominated most of Bollywood’s history.

I did have a couple of quibbles. First is, of course, the elephant in the room, the premise that someone can actually make money off of getting off. The second is how cavalierly adoption is dismissed as a viable option for infertile couples. Are Indian couples more comfortable with artificial insemination through sperm donation rather than adoption? Aren’t there  many deserving babies already born and waiting for love and attention?

Perhaps there is another movie in that. Vicky Donor, for its part, skates over the issue with a token dialogue or two, but it makes up with wit and charm in the subject it does tackle.

Kudos to actor John Abraham for financing this little gem. Now that the low budget indie comedy genre is finally taking off in India, it may be time to shed the “Bollywood” tag or reserve it for the execrable, derivative big-budget crap that seems to have its own audience. Movies like Vicky Donor, Dhobi Ghat, and even Delhi Belly deserve to be called just Hindi movies or Indian movies.

Can Vicky Donor be seen on DVD? Yes. But it is worth forking over some of your hard-earned cash to check it out in your local multiplex. It may not have special effects or the Bollywood oomph that make for a theater spectacle, but it is a sweet, funny movie that would be great for a couple’s night out.

Kid Advisory: For obvious reasons, DO NOT take your kids to the  movie unless you are aiming for an early birds and bees lesson. There are also a couple of sensitively shot love scenes ( the kissing is getting better and better in Bollywood as actors get over their inhibitions) and the subject matter is much too adult. Older teenagers might enjoy the movie, but not with their parents.:)

Parent Talk Episode 26: The Science of Sleep

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Parent Talk is a weekly radio show sponsored by the India Community Center. It airs on Radio Zindagi, 1550 AM, live on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. The call in number for the show is 510-7701550.

Saturday April 21: On this episode I talked with sleep specialist Dr. Nitun Verma, Medical Director of the Washington Township Center for Sleep Disorders about sleep issues for kids these days. Did you know the optimum time to go to sleep in North America is 9 p.m.?  These and other interesting facts about sleep can be found in the recording below.

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If you have questions or comments about the show, or if you would like to participate on the show, please drop me a line at radio@indiacc.org. For news about the upcoming shows, check out the Parent Talk page.

Mantras for Motherhood

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By Meenu Arora

mother's dayI am sure I am not the only one being a wife, mother, daughter, cook, and housekeeper who also wants to be intellectually stimulated by a challenging career and hopes to pursue hobbies like writing, reading, and dancing. Phew! If only a day had 30 hours.

Out of all the jobs that comes with being a woman these days, guess which is the hardest? Parenting. This job does not have any sick days or holidays and comes with a persistent guilt of not being good enough. Over the years I have learnt that being a “Super Mom” is not doing everything but doing what matters the most. It is okay sometimes to let those dust bunnies multiply in peace.

As Mother’s Day approaches, I would like to share some mantras that every mom can live by that I have learnt from my own mom.

Take care of yourself: Just like the oxygen mask rule in planes, you cannot help your family if you are in bad shape yourself. Take time out from your busy life for a few moments of pampering. You deserve it, and you will return energized and refreshed and happier.

Organize, organize, organize: Putting aside an hour to plan out your day/week/month often seems like a waste of time, but there is no way you can manage a home on the fly. The few minutes spent on planning meals, chores, and grocery runs can save hours of indecision and repeat trips to the store, and prevent chaos at busy times of the day.

Delegate: Being a “Super Mom” does not mean doing it all. Learn to delegate! Make sure everyone in the family has some chores to do so they appreciate what it takes to run a household. And whenever it’s all too hard, ASK FOR HELP!

Spend time together: What matters most is not how clean you keep your house or if all your errands get done. What matters most is the time you spend with your children. Play games together, read together, and set aside chunks of quality time with them. This is the time where we only see them and their talents; time where they feel the full impact of our love and admiration, when they know without a shadow of a doubt that they are everything to us.

On this mother’s day, I want to give a shout out to my mom, who is so loving, caring, generous, patient, involved, strong, creative, kind, selfless and always two steps ahead. She is a Super Mom, and I know you can be one too.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Parent Talk Episode 25 – Parenting Kids With Special Needs

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Parent Talk is a weekly radio show sponsored by the India Community Center. It airs on Radio Zindagi, 1550 AM, live on Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. The call in number for the show is 510-7701550.

Saturday April 14: On this episode I talked with parents Shriya Shah and Nandini Minocha. Shriya has a 9-year-old son with a neuromuscular disability and Nandini’s teenager is autistic. They were both very brave to come and talk openly about their issues and I feel they did a great service to the desi parent community both by their information and their attitude; we are usually very hesitant to talk about our struggles and fail to realize that we are all in this together. Here is the recording. There is a wealth of information, emotion, guidelines on what to expect for parents and friends who want to learn more.

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Towards the end of the show I mentioned a Community Outreach event for kids by Aram Sei at the Santa Teresa branch of the San Jose library. More details can be found at http://aramsei.wordpress.com/home/

If you have questions or comments about the show, or if you would like to participate on the show, please drop me a line at radio@indiacc.org. For news about the upcoming shows, check out the Parent Talk page.