Unlike other Asians in the US, we Indians have by and large chosen to pass on our Sanskriti to our kids in the form of their names. Except for the occasional lapses into Neel, Josh(ridiculous!) Dev and Lori(I plead guilty) we have heroically chosen exotic, hard-to-pronounce handles that even Indophiles would be hard-pressed to decipher(what on earth does Araav mean? or is it Aarav?) Of course, this has led to creative spellings sure to perplex the grandmas back home. Raghav becomes Raaghav, Arun becomes Aroon and the male Suman has to assert his identity by renaming himself Shoomon.

My own dear husband struggled with his unusual name ( Basab)during the early part of his career. After a threat to divorce a possible Buzz or Bob, he backed off on making his name more palatable to his potential clients and decided to vent his angst in his blog. Our realtor could not afford the risk (plus his wife was in the same business). He called himself Mirch, rhyming with perch, Mirchandani. Bob Dhillons and Jazz Gills have sold dozens of houses around the Bay. Venkys and Srinis have exercised compassion towards their phonetically challenged cousins across the Atlantic

But there are signs that at least in Silicon Valley, the worm may have turned.

Go Mukesh! So what if the rare non-Asian client rhymes the first part of your name with a choice 4 letter word. I look forward to the day when the Mike disappears too. In the meantime , if we have to put up with Droov(Dhruv) and Nay-run(Naren) so be it. Those occidental palates have to grow a few new muscles,because we’re going to keep naming our kids the way we want to.

There are over 60 million blogs today.( Add 3 more by time you finish reading this sentence.) That may seem a lot but there are also 6.6 billion people in the world. And while a few dozen Raj Gupta’s and Amit Varma’s can peacefully coexist in the real world, alas, the internet is not so forgiving.

Think of the insane number of hours spent by people trying to get a unique, hip, cool name for their blog. First you come up with a half a dozen witty ones in as many hours. The rosy glow of achievement quickly evaporates as Go Daddy holds up a stop sign. Fine, you say and go back to the mental gymnastics. Perhaps this time the names are not so elementary, even dipping into the vernacular idiom. What! someone is cybersquatting on ‘I am like that only’ and ‘just because’ too?

Finally, the brain cells snap and spew out gibberish – Kaboodle, kadoodle, zabira, zathura. For the humble home blogger with no marketing muscle, an unrecognizable domain name is as good as the 500 page novel scrawled in pencil hiding under the mattress. The blog gurus have spoken- if you want your blog to be found, the name should be relevant. And so, after hours of labour is born thisblogsayssomethingaboutme.com.

I calculate that I spent at least 50 hours on this singularly unproductive task till I stumbled into the fact that nobody had registered my name so far. I suspect I have earned the sound and round curses of many Vidya Pradhans to come. What if I hadn’t been so lucky? I might have been stuck in a never-ending loop of creativity and disppointment.

So here is my suggestion – let’s just follow a system with alphanumeric codes assigned like license plates. So once in a while a small transposition in the digits could take you to Osama instead of Obama -hey – it might just broaden your horizons. Just think of the hours and hours of saved time that could be used -blogging.

(In case you’re seriously thinking about going digital-better hurry -1234abc.com and abc1234.com are already taken. )

–    over not giving enough to the poor
–    over not having enough time for your spouse
–    over not achieving enough to justify the expensive education
–    over neglecting parents who are overseas
–    over not doing enough for the environment
–    over not paying enough attention to your children
–    over not putting your kids in the right school
–    over not exercising enough
–    over not being religious enough
–    over not reading all your emails
–    over not being up to date with technology
–    over not organizing pictures from the vacation you took 2 years ago
–    over not being productive with your leisure
–    over spending too much on the latest gadget

Hmm…is prosperity worth it?

When my mother and grandmother start talking intelligently, (or at least intelligibly) about blogs, I know it’s time to move on. Here is a terminology of blogs to help you pick the one that’s right for you.
B- log – term about to go the way of the VCR and the Walkman.
C- log – used by oceanographers, but prone to sudden blockages
D- log- anonymous site for the Italian Mafia to complain without fear of cement boots
F -log – used by politicians to wax eloquent on the subject of deceased equines
H-U-M log – soapy saga of middle class Indian family
J –log – adventures of a gluteally advantaged superstar
K-log – promoting the virtues of sugary cereals
L-log – support group for people with speech impediments
P-log – desperate attempt at companies like Amazon to get even more information on its customers
S-log – the sad commentaries of cubicle bound office workers
V-log – proof that everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, even if it is only by dancing naked to the tune from Star Wars.
Y-log – existentialist musings
Z-log – Exclusive continental site featuring impossible to pronounce recipes and wine vintages.

Want to fill in the blanks?