Monthly Archives: July 2007

Kumon – or how I outsourced parenting

If you are among the remaining 6 Indians who haven’t heard of Kumon, it is an after-school tutoring program in Math and English operated out of franchises. Developed about 50 years ago in Japan, the system emphasizes a graduated approach to mastering technique.

I succumbed to Kumon after my 11 year old had a particularly rough year in 5th grade. Surrounded by scions of engineering toppers, the poor child managed to feel dumb when he didn’t get all straight A’s at year-end and was receptive to the idea of supplemental help.

The nearest Kumon center was a short drive away, located in a strip mall surrounded by gas stations and fast food joints. As seedy as its neighborhood, the place was decidedly low-tech, with hand-written notices liberally papering the single room with its aluminium chairs and tables.

Naren was given an HB pencil and a test sheet and asked to solve the problems. It took him about 30 minutes and at the end the harried franchise owner, who was also dealing with half-a-dozen other Indian kids, categorized him in some way not obvious to the layperson(me) and handed him a box with practice sheets for the coming week. Naren’s job was to finish one sheet set every day.

My job was to correct said sheet. The Kumon system takes the concept of self in “self-motivated learning” to a new high. There is no instruction, none at all. The difficulty level is calibrated and graduated in such a way that the child is supposed to simply progress by himself(herself). The child learns on his own and the parent corrects his/her work.

After a few days of this, I had serious doubts. Why was I paying to be doing all the work? Creating the question set is dead simple, after all. I could come up with the 50 questions or so in about 15 minutes.

Turns out what you are paying a 100 bucks a month for is not the Kumon test sheets, but two completely different services that Kumon provides. The first is the answer booklet. Making up the questions may take a matter of minutes but solving the darned questions yourself is another thing altogether. Even if it is only compound fractions I have to deal with so far, the pain involved in getting down and dirty with 5th grade math is gladly to be avoided for 3 dollars a day. I freely admit, I am not smarter than a 5th grader.

The second, more important service, at least in my household, is that of outsourcing discipline. I can just imagine the pitched battles I would have every day with a recalcitrant tween over sitting down with pages of math in mother’s illegible hand. Somehow, when it’s all typed up and comes in a neatly packaged box, the bitter pill becomes a lot easier to swallow. The same child, who would look and behave as if he was being asked to stitch buttons in a dingy sweatshop if asked to do chores, meekly finishes his Kumon set first thing every morning and brings it over to be corrected. At least for a few minutes a day, I have the joyful illusion of being the parent of a well-brought up son. I don’t know if the Japanese work-ethic is being transmitted by some mysterious process of osmosis, but whatever it is, it seems to work.

So Mr. Franchisee, you can count on one more loyal Indian parent to enrich your coffers on a monthly installment plan. It is not because we think very highly of your methods. It is because we know the value of outsourcing and just can’t pass up such a good deal.

The Importance of Play

Rennu Dhillon runs the award-winning Genius Kids, an intensive preschool program focusing on academics for kids under 5. Her new venture is Toto Station – an indoor entertainment play center and after school hub for children from ages 12 months to 10 years. Toto Station was created to encourage development in children in critical areas including personal confidence, creativity and imagination, all within a safe, clean and fun environment.

Here Rennu talks about the importance of play – Continue reading

The end is near – for the DVD

Netflix recently reported the first quarterly customer loss in the company’s history a couple of days ago. An article in the San Jose Mercury News ascribes the decline to Blockbuster’s rival service which is marginally cheaper and offers customers the option of returning their DVDs at their nearest rental store. Netflix plans to respond by improving customer service and reduce its prices marginally.

Not that Blockbuster is doing well. According to the same article –

(Blockbuster)..lost $49 million in the first quarter. Blockbuster last month indicated it might try to reverse that trend by raising the prices of its online service.

While these rental giants are battling it out, they may be missing the technology changes happening right before them. The need they fill, as I see it, is three-fold-

– New movies just out on DVD

– episodes of popular TV shows

– hard to find foreign films.

As a consumer, I get all my new movies from the pay-per-view service on TV. This may be slightly more expensive than renting the DVD, but it gives me the quick fix of the movie I want, when I want. TV shows are harder to find but Joost is busy making deals with basic cable channels like FOX and thanks to mobile technology and the video iPod, show producers have woken up to the revenue potential of the Internet. Latest episodes of popular shows are already being offered on the websites of basic channels like ABC and NBC.

That leaves the classics and foreign language films. Admittedly, Netflix has a phenomenal collection but companies like Jaman, which offer online downloads and rentals are grabbing the long tail and inching forward. There is also a social networking component that adds value to the viewing experience. Once studios get over their piracy paranoia and get comfortable with regulated rentals and sales over the Internet, the floodgates of online movies should open.

At least, that’s my hope. As a fan of films from India, I am particularly frustrated. The DVDs I purchase rarely survive more than 3 viewings. After that it is a merry game to figure out the story between skips. I have started hoarding my ‘Kaagaz ke Phool’ DVD knowing that it has only one life left.

All this presupposes that the DVD will actually work. My fussy ‘Made in Japan’ player has rejected several films for not being ‘in the Zone’. For the $19.95 that the DVD typically costs, it hardly seems worthwhile.

As for the few foreign films I own, exactly how many times can you watch the ‘Godfather Trilogy’? Surely we can feel the same pride of ownership in a file name?

The imperfections of the market and the unavailability of broadband connections may keep the format alive a little longer. But it’s just a matter of time. So before you invest in the ‘Star Wars’ 6-pack for the price of a small car, think about it. Someday soon it may be bye-bye DVD, hello download.

Why Star Voice of India makes me (home)sick

Zee has Sa Re Ga Ma, Sony has Indian Idol. Can Star TV be far behind? In a bid to cash in on the popularity of music reality shows, the channel introduced Star Voice of India a few weeks ago , closely patterned after the other successful shows.

The dilemma producer Gajendra Singh found himself in was how to separate the show from the herd while still retaining all the elements that made the previous shows work. As with the others, there are several preliminary auditions where the singers are culled by judges. Ultimately a top 12 is voted on by the general public.

Seems pretty straightforward. But, as they say, the devil is in the details. And here is where VOI is so quintessentially Indian.

First, the show has 5 judges instead of the usual 3, named the ‘Panch Parmeshwar’ by some wag behind the scenes. While most sane people would try as far as possible to distance themselves from such a pompous appellation, the judges themselves are apparently dead serious about it.

In mythological style, divine battles ensue every week. Tantrums are thrown, walkouts are staged. Mind you, these are the judges we’re talking about.The men also make up with hugs and kisses, something that can happen among heterosexuals only in amchi India. The sole female judge, very unsubtly, scores the girls very poorly and reserves her nastiest comments for them.

The format is completely fluid, apparently being made up as they go along. This can sometimes lead to awkward situations where the judges pause mid-routine and ask,” Uh, ab hum kya kare?” After one contestant accompanied the performance of a particularly sexy number with coordinating body movements, one of the leering middle aged judges decreed that everyone else must ‘perform’ too; with the result that somehow a show to find a playback singer has morphed into Indian Idol Too.

At the end of the judges’ selections, instead of the ‘Bemisal Baarah’ there were 14 singers left, to everyone’s consternation(including the participants). A mad scramble happened to figure out whether to eliminate 2 more singers or find a rhyme for ‘Chaudah’.

Somehow everything got sorted out and now the audience voting rounds have begun. In true Indian fashion, the voting numbers are announced before the singers have performed and after their video biography is shown, pointedly revealing their place of origin. This is probably to ensure that there is no discrimination against tone-deaf people who may not be able to judge the singers by their merits.

Among all this chaos are the singers themselves, humble, hopeful and highly talented. They take the judges in their stride and criticism with aplomb. The talent pool is so deep that any of the guys or gals eliminated in the first round of auditions by the judges could out sing this year’s American Idol winner( which is why the Sanjaya Malakars of the world drive me crazy). The ‘Bemisal Baarah'( yes, they couldn’t find the rhyme after all) are truly outstanding. Only one winner is assured a playback contract but I imagine that the established artistes of the Hindi movie industry must be quaking in their Batas by now.

Which is why I still watch VOI and will continue to watch despite the fact I cannot vote in it. As for the crazy judges and the corny jokes and the gushing suck-ups, it’s all one big dose of Bharatiyana. When I can’t take it anymore, I’ll just fast forward.

(Star Voice of India is available through Direct TV’s Hindi Direct service.)

MeeraMasi -Bilingual books for Indian kids

By Vidya Pradhan

Sonali Sahni Herrera had a problem common to Indians brought up in the United States. Husband Carlos was able to share his culture and Spanish language with their children with the help of many bilingual books and DVDs but she was at a loss when it came to Hindi, having grown up in the US since the age of 4. Not being very fluent in the Hindi script, she looked around for books, CDs, nursery rhymes that could bridge the gap between her knowledge and her culture but the offerings were limited and few met her quality standards. She turned to sister Sheetal Sahni Singhal, for help. After scouting around in India and here for material, the two decided that the only way to get quality books was to publish it themselves. They started MeeraMasi, a publishing company that focuses on Indian bilingual books for kids under the age of 6. Continue reading

God as a plot device

‘Saving Grace’ is a new show on TNT where a foul- mouthed, morally challenged police detective tries to get her act together with the help of a tobacco-chewing redneck angel. I watched the debut episode yesterday. The show is very well written and entertaining and Holly Hunter, who specializes in angst-ridden characters, gives an excellent performance as Grace Hanadarko. Then why did I feel so uncomfortable?

God as a plot device is very familiar to Indians, brought up on a steady diet of Manmohan Desai movies. In fact, his blockbuster should have been named Amar, Akbar, Anthony and Allah, given how much prominence the deity has in the movie. Remember Nirupa Roy’s blindness being cured by the levitating flame?

But somehow, in India, we know how to take our religion with a liberal pinch of salt. We regularly visit temples and pray copiously but maintain a healthy dose of skepticism about whether our prayers are going to be answered. Our concept of Hell is rather vague; after all, as the Amar Chitra Katha comics informed us, poor Yama was just a sad neglected child of Surya. The notion of the duty here and consequences for negligence in the afterlife is completely open to interpretation, there being a singular dearth of scripture that lays down the rules in black and white.

So when a laser beam comes out of Santoshi Ma’s palm to smite the unbeliever or deliver a faithless husband back to his long-suffering wife, we throw coins at the screen, applaud vigorously and even, moved by emotion, undertake fasts for nine consecutive Tuesdays(or is it Friday?). Miracles on screen are fun to watch and extricate many a hero from crushing logic, but we certainly are not expected to believe that they really happen. We Indians are, ultimately, practical about religion – believing that God can be your personal genie and deliver you from your troubles is rather like a lottery – you play it just in case, but don’t get too upset if you don’t win. In a country of a billion people, it would be surprising if He/She had the time to zoom in.

Maybe it is the light-hearted way I’ve approached religion that makes me squirm when I see the almighty on screen in the US. They just take it too seriously. The angel admonishes Grace “Enough with the drinkin’, whorin’ and cussin’, coz you’re going straight to Hell if you don’t shape up quickly.” The crucifix is prominently displayed, the bible is treated reverently and the angel, for all his redneck ways, is rather like a stern elementary school teacher. “If there is a God,” asks Grace quite intelligently, “Then why is there hunger, disease, death..” “If I gave you the answers,” answers the smug angel,”where is the room for faith?” If that isn’t a cop-out, I don’t know what it is.

Thanks, but I’ll stick with my polytheistic, joyful, irreverent religion where the gods don’t presume to have all the answers(and not share). And if a stray plot appearance on TV reminds me to pray, I’ll just send a mental SMS to my favorite one.

R u there, Gd?

An unfair advantage

Notwithstanding what the spin doctors of each campaign have to say, there is a general consensus among the media that Hillary Clinton has appeared to lead the discussion in every debate so far. There is also an impression that the other candidates defer to her or look to her while framing their answers.

Let me suggest a possible explanation that has nothing to do with the fact that she is intelligent, articulate and extremely poised in public. Or, that as the front-runner, she is usually placed in the center. I think Hillary has an unfair sartorial advantage. In every debate, she wears  light, bright, silk jackets that by their very texture and color, draw attention. In a sea of blacks, blues and dark browns, she stands out like a lighthouse.

I pity her poor male opponents. Imagine if one of them showed up in a white suit, a la Elvis( or Jeetendra!). They have no choice but to be the dull backdrop to her gleaming presence.

After all, if you had a black canvas with a red dot in the middle, what would you look at?

Out of the mouths of ungrateful children

My 11 year old brought home a pound of sand in his shoes, a fact I only discovered the next morning when said sand thinly covered the contents of his room. I was busy vacuuming the grit when he walked in after his morning ablutions.

“Go ahead, make your bed,” I advised.

He paused, watching me run the vacuum back and forth.

“You’re asking me to make the bed when you messed it up?”

I was dumbfounded.

“You’ve been sleeping there. How did I mess it up?”

He thought for a minute.

“You must have when you were cleaning all the sand off the sheets.”

Wah, kya logic hai!

My glare was enough to make him shut up and get to it but, by god, I miss corporal punishment.

Your Call Is Important To Us

By Salil Chaturvedi

Monika, my richer half, had received a hefty bonus and after some debate on how to blow up the money, we decided to put it to pay back part of the housing loan and bring the EMIs down to a more comfortable level.

I called up the Customer Care Service of a bank (referred to in our household as Icky Icky bank, owing to the strong emotions it stirs in us). I needed to find out how paying back Rupees two lakh would affect the EMI plan. A simple thing, really. Here’s how it went: Continue reading

Dem. Debate of 23rd July – I liked Joe Biden

Joe Biden has a snowball’s chance in hell of winning the Democratic primaries, let alone the Presidency and he knows it. How else can one explain the straight talk, the innovative ideas and the fearlessness while debating?

I don’t agree with the Delaware senator on every issue, and I have a real problem with his views on partial birth abortions but he has a pretty radical idea on Iraq that is not held by any of the other candidates, Republican or Democrat. He proposes breaking Iraq up into sectarian zones, possibly even creating 3 countries. Before you dismiss it as impractical whimsy, think of how much more responsive the people of Iraq would be to a President who at leasts understands how deep the divisions go.

In yesterday’s debate 2 other comments of Biden’s stood out –

– When asked about the conflict between his current stance on No Child Left Behind and his previous vote to approve it, he said clearly that he made a mistake and explained his reasons for making it at the time.

– When the crazy guy referred to his sub machine gun as his baby and asked what the candidates would do to protect it, the Senator looked aghast and said the guy needed help. Most Democrats pussy foot around the issue of gun control because of the fear of the NRA lobby, so anybody who gets an F from the NRA is ok by me.

Hmm..a straight shooting, no nonsense Democrat. Who would have thunk?

Found an interesting website called On The Issues that lays down how the different candidates voted on various issues throughout their political career..may be a good way to whittle down your choices.