By Vidya Pradhan

1. I watch these movies so you don't have to.
2. Note to Bollywoood – SCRIPT IS KING! SCRIPT IS KING! SCRIPT IS KING!
3. Ajay Devgan, who makes his directorial debut with this movie, obviously did not get that note.
4. He also takes credit for the story – alas, IMDB points us to the "inspiration" for UMAH's central premise, The Notebook, a rather saccharine love story by Nicholas Sparks which was made into an ok movie starring Rachel McAdams.
5. Movies with cutesy bilingual names are usually an indicator of box-office poison but Jab We Met was refreshing, so I thought I'd give this one a try.
6. UMAH starts well and ends strong..it's the middle that's the problem.
7. If a previous engagement gets you to the movie only by intermission, thank your stars, the worst is over.
8. Fat kids cannot be used for comedy in Hindi movies anymore.
9. Scenes involving babies in jeopardy should be kept short in "family" films.
10. Some directorial advice – next time don't be cheap about hiring a good supporting cast, it pays off.
11. Kajol does her luminous best, her fans will be pleased with her acting and not so pleased with her cameraman.
12. Ajay Devgan should not be playing 25 year old romantics anymore. Why not emulate "The Notebook" and have a different cast for the younger generation?
13. Vishal Bharadwaj's music is pleasing, if unmemorable. Download the title song.
14. Did I mention script is king?
15. Sigh!
16. Now that I have thoroughly turned you off the movie, who knows, you may even like it.
17. Full disclosure – I watched this movie on a DVD with questionable antecedents, but guilt over journalistic integrity made me watch the entire movie at one setting without any fast forwards, and believe me, I was tempted.

U, Me Aur Hum – *ring Ajay Devgan, Kajol. Directed by Ajay Devgan

My rating – 2 out of 5 stars