Yearly Archives: 2008

Withdrawal symptoms

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The Onion, as usual, got it absolutely right( is it satire if it’s true?). A video published shortly after the elections was titled “Obama win causes obsessive backers to see how empty their lives really are” –

After 10 months of poring over polls, gaffes and campaign leaks, the day after seems unpleasantly empty. Sure, for the political junkies in search of a fix, the blogosphere is trying to procure supply in the form of transition team tidbits, but there is a sense of desperation, as sites expressly created to cash in on campaign fever are suddenly waking up to the fact that their lucrative revenue stream has been capped overnight. Nowhere is the despondency more evident than in  comedy circles, where comedians are discovering how patriotic they really were when they wished for an Obama victory. I sensed a quiet panic in Jon Stewart’s eyes yesterday as he realized how difficult it was going to be to make fun of an Obama presidency.

Meanwhile congratulations continue to pour in from around the world celebrating the wisdom of the American people. But let’s not forget the millions of foot soldiers who phoned complete strangers, knocked on hostile doors, emailed and talked to friends and family till their voices were hoarse and their fingers were numb. And let’s give a little credit to the man who inspired them, a man born with a disadvantageous color and an unfortunate name who still dared to dream the impossible dream. Only in America.

Will things really be different this time around? Is the nation’s 8-year long nightmare finally over? Now we know it is not a matter of passively waiting to see what happens. President-elect Obama( I suspect the other two parts of his name will recede into the background when he is doing well and surface only in recrimination) has already begun the process of communication and transparency by inaugurating a site called change.gov which will be used to communicate with Americans who are thirsting for a say in how their country is run. And after a brief rest, many of the 3 million people who dedicated 10 months of their lives into his( and their) campaign will be asking, “Tell us what we can do for our country.”

Priya Govind: Making every second last a rich eternity

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Priya Bhatt reviews Priyadarshini Govind’s BharataNatyam performance in San Jose, CA, USA on Nov 2, 2008.

How does one write a review for something that presents as boundless a view as the horizon? That was what Priyadarshini Govind’s performance in San Jose, California organized by the South Indian Fine Arts Council was; so one can only act as record-keeper, not reviewer.

In an ensemble of rich maroon tones offset by a richer gold, Priya started off with a Mallari in Gambhira Nattai ragam, with an twist of Mishra Triputa thalam, though there was nothing gambhira about it; it was radiance through and through. Following this up with an Alaripu in Tishram was an unpredictable choice, given that the Tishra Alaripu is a student piece. Priya however, flavored this beginner piece with intricacies of her own: She angled her anjalis and lunged into poses; brought a freshness to the incessant dittitais with dramatic pauses and enhanced the basic steps with fuller hand movements. The Tishra Alaripu wouldn’t have recognized itself.

Shadakshara Kautwam was the next piece, a celebration of Shanmukha-bhakti in Shanmukhapriya ragam. Priya was now a peacock, now a vel, now a bhakta, now benevolent Muruga Himself, and then a dancer. The Nataikurunji varnam that followed transcended from being the formidable piece-de-resistance to a happy experiment in at once defying and challenging norms, of choreography, of age and energy. Priya Govind’s portrayal consisted of two distinct bhavas; the majestic dancing Nataraja and inexplicably, the navarasas within the Shringara-  that is quintessential Priya Govind, to catharsize the bhava into a moment, or energize it to have a life of its own.

Watching Priya Govind perform is a study in contrasts- there is a quietness to her drama and an explosion in her restraint. Priya makes every second last a beautiful eternity and every fleeting experience transform into an undying memory. And the hand-in-glove chemistry with the orchestra is simply silk. Shaji Lal was masterful as her nattuvanar. The vocals, violin and mridangam were par excellence as an inspirational force in Priya’s dancing. Great idea to bring a technician from India as well, he did a great job of getting us to see the Light.

A tussle between loyalties, to one’s own self and to one’s doctrine, was superbly emoted by Priya in the first item after the intermission: Shivadeekhsha, where the young Shaivaite girl reluctantly turns her Vaishnavite lover away. That Priya can choose this piece, analyze the emotions and then be this nayika is proof that the divine exists, and aids and abets in a woman’s path to self-realization. She’s the only one who can get her audience to go past her resplendent blue-gold-red costume-with-long-melaka-down-the-back to create an illusion that hey, she’s actually dressed in simple cotton, has just taken a dip and is dripping wet as she walks back home, ready for her morning pooja. One almost shivers in reaction to the water!

‘At that moment, how can you restrain yourself?..’ –Indeed, how can one, faced with Priya Govind’s alluring incarnation of a young maiden caught up in the romance of a meeting with an attractive young man, in Appudumanasa. Now, was it the nayika or Priya herself urging you to let all restraint drop? How can one merge and emerge at will like this?

The folksy tale of Kanna’s antics including the one where he manages to get close enough to a girl and pinch her on the pretext of hearing her sing was like a fond memory- Priya managed to invoke a familiarity instead of leaving us feeling like mere spectators. Suddenly, you want to be with this child Krishna. No, you want to be the gopi that admonishes him. Then again, to be the girl that gets her cheek pinched would be so good!

The highlight in terms of technique in all the three abhinaya pieces was that Priya moved about a lot. However, with Priya, the 6×6 feet of space that the nayika claims as her stage metamorphosizes into a passage of suspended time. The mark of an expert dancer is to be omnipresent; not ‘cover’ space on stage, a feat that Priya Govind instinctively achieves.

The solo rendition of the Kalinga Nartana ‘poem’ like Priya Govind called it, was nirvanaic in its impact on the audience. The attention to detail blows one away: the gait of the Naga-wives was distinct from one the egoistic Kalinga used. The prancing of Krishna in the Yamuna was beautifully blended to an ongoing fight: Priya Govind used nritta korvai-lets with patakas to depict Krishna swimming, and then He Swung Kalinga around to dance on him. Yamuna herself came to life in the rolling waves in the beginning. And all that energy comes to a head and then just black-holes into a pose when Krishna pushes Kalinga’s head into submission. With Priya, every second of time, pause, pose, and look is seared with a mark of its own. She herself has said that BharataNatyam is not just bhava, mudras and movement; it is a language that she uses to communicate. Indeed, with Priya it would not matter if it had it been a Rajender, Anagha or Aparajita or even a Jill, Jane and Bob in the audience instead of a Jaya, Sri and Ravi.

Brindavani Thillana was a delight to watch, even though one suspects it was an abridged version. Priya Govind’s dancing is as effortless and instinctive as a spontaneous cry of joyful surprise. She alone can transcend a walk to Natyadharmi status, and get the most stylized and traditional of steps to transform to a Lokadharmi feel; more proof of her dancing being a study in contrasts. She makes it feel as if getting to samam at the end of a korvai is not just the culmination, but an event in itself that she’s been waiting for all her life; everytime. And that last pose- how can she pack so much energy with her back to the audience and her arms lifted up in alapadmakas?

Never mind that- Bhanudas came alive when Priya Govind danced his abhang ‘Brindavani venu vaaze’. O what trickery is this, that a dancer can get you this close to experience heavenly bliss? Priya’s Govind played on His flute while slowly dancing out a tune with his feet, in a tight gyration, and the fact that Priya repeated this at least three times is evidence that she does have her finger on the audience pulse- one always wants more of something good. It was like a painting come alive, when her Krishna mesmerized birds, animals and humans alike. A body to soul experience, truly- Jeevatma to Paramatma.

But, but- The biggest draw that Priya Govind has, is the feeling we get that her very breath depends on an audience, that it is drawn because of the audience, and not inspite of the audience as some performers will have you believe. Like the line from the varnam that evening, ‘Namamrita …..jeevana’, Priya Govind makes her audience feel like having them watch her perform is all the sustenance she needs. And this is her greatest asset and lifelong hold over the audience.

Priya Bhatt is a contract marketer by profession, for software products and services. By passion though, she’s a performer: A background and ongoing  interest in Bharatanatyam, with an ambition to do more in theater. Her hobbies include writing, choreography and designing women’s wear.

Chennai welcomes Obama

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By Geeta Padmanabhan

At 7 am at the Taj Coromandel, Chennai, the two Clive rooms were packed. Students from at least half-a-dozen schools milled around. A long queue stood in front of the mock booth where with two clicks you could vote for one of the two presidential candidates.

No one had any doubt who would win this “mini” election.

Another line stood in front of the candidates’ cut-outs for free photographs. The longest line was of course in front of the coffee-and-biscuit counter. It looked like everyone – which meant a fair representation of Chennai population – invited by the US Consulate in Chennai had decided to honor it.

There were balloons everywhere. Huge sheets of blue and red cloth covered the ceiling. One wall had posters on democracy and election (all strictly neutral) by students of the Consulate’s outreach program. The far wall was lined with officials checking poll trends and results in their laptops. Chairs faced the two large screens, one for live coverage and the other for graphics. TV crews from every news channel tripped around shooting anything in sight. Cameras clicked, scribes scribbled. The one person who was bravely enjoying the excitement and noise was Mrs. Simkin, wife of the Consul General Mr. Andrew Simkin, in an Uncle Sam cap and a star-and-stripes dress.

“Is there enhanced interest in this election or have you invited a lot of people?” I shouted at Mr. Kaplan, Public Affairs officer. “Both,” he said, keeping his voice steady. I heard the phrases African-American, woman VP, long campaign, Indo-US relations and “wherever I went in Chennai people asked me about the elections. We thought we would give the students a peep into the democratic process in the US and allow them to make comparisons. We had a quiz, organized a presidential debate and invited students from the participating schools.” He smiled. “We hoped they would circulate and leave. Not happening.”

7:30 am: a new speaker was talking of Indian American candidates. Information was pouring out everywhere. Fliers were being handed out. Exit polls, Indian-American candidates, advanced build-up, reception to VIPs last night. Students discussed dollar values, IT industry, the job market after the election. Swarming crowds surrounded anyone with white skin and fired questions. “I’m German,” said an exasperated woman. “I don’t know how the voting is done.”

8 am: More results, more speeches. “60 seats in the senate is a must,” said the next speaker, “for the President to get his policies passed without much difficulty. Notable reps have held on.” More people were piling in. Even standing room was hard to find. By this time, Obama had voted. The clip showing him, his wife and daughter went on and on. There was a big surge of people in the TV part of the hall.

8:45 am: The noise levels were uncomfortably high. The screaming NDTV anchor reporting from Grant Park couldn’t get a word through in this crushing room. The talk on the popular vote not matching the electoral college votes sounded like a mime. The vice-consul, Ms. Ariel Howard decided to do something. She went up to the mike, got the TV sound muted and said, “For those students who have mock-voted and taken their picture, the door is open. Outside, you will see the stairs to go to the entrance.” No one moved.

9 am: History was in the air. “137 to 85” shouted the announcer. The voting pattern analysis was now on – state by state, African-American voters, Latino voters, previous election voters, new voters, in just how many ways can electors be split? I managed to talk to Arya, an absentee voter and daughter of dancer Anita Ratnam. “I was born in New York, so I can always vote though I live here,” she said. No surprise who she voted for. “McCain means continuity; I heard Obama talking on war. He has a promising agenda. He will help the middle class.”

9:15 am: The applause started. Ohio for Obama, Virginia for Obama. I moved to the coffee area and cornered the vice-consul. She predicted, “The young in India will draw enthusiasm for participation in the elections. Youthful energy in India is waiting to be unleashed.” Waiting? It was already there. “Voting numbers are higher, not too many glitches. We want all this to be passed on to India.” She moved to the lectern for her lecture on Ashwin Madia and Bobby Jindal. “I’m a Louisianian,” she thundered. “Jindal has done remarkable work for us.” Applause broke out.

9:30 am: Half of Chennai was cramped into the TV area. NDTV had made its choice. CNN came on and announced “Obama elected president” and below in smaller letters, “CNN Projection.”  Virginia went to Obama. The noise was deafening. It matched the levels of jubilation on-screen in faraway New York.

9:45am:The shouting suddenly subsided. The students moved toward the walls and those seated hushed down. “McCain will have to concede,” whispered the gentleman next to me. McCain appeared, delivered his speech. Incredibly, the packed hall listened in total silence. Once, just once, when he thanked Sarah Palin for her support, a white American photographer booed. “We make history” said the elderly senator and the crowd gave him a loud applause. “Our politicians should learn from him,” sighed the neighbour. “What a gracious speech.”

No coffee, no sandwiches left. We waited for Obama’s speech. The clapping lasted a full minute when he appeared with Michelle Obama and kids. Hey wait! She’s wearing black with a splash of red in the middle! In Chennai the colours have unpleasant associations. Obama spoke, every sentence was punctuated by applause. “Who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer” (clap), “friend of 16 years” (clap). The reference to Ann Cooper was lost on the Chennai audience, but they caught the refrain: yes we can. In the end, the clapping was louder, screams followed.

Conversations resumed, cameras clicked, Mr. Simkin was interviewed by CNN-IBN. The students began to disperse. On my way out, I asked Mr. Kaplan, “How would you describe your reaction?” He said, “Happiness, pride in our democracy and relief that the long campaign has ended.” Diplomatic.

Results of propositions on the ballot in California

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Here are the results of the propositions on the ballot in California ( to get more details on the propositions, see here)-
Proposition 1 – High Speed Rail initiative and Bonds – Passed
Proposition 2 – Humane Treatment of Animals – Passed
Proposition 3 – Children’s Hospital Bonds – Passed
Proposition 4 – Parents/Adult should be notified about a teen’s pregnancy – Failed( mercifully!)
Proposition 5 – Non violent drug offenses to be given lenient treatment – Failed

Proposition 6 – Increase in funding for police – Failed
Proposition 7 – Forces utility companies to meet renewable energy standards – Failed.
Proposition 8 – Eliminates right of same-sex couples to marry – Appears to have passed. Opponents are still waiting for absentee ballots and provisional ballots to be counted before giving up. Ironically, on a day when we celebrate a civil rights triumph on the Presidential ballot, we take away a civil right granted to another minority. Very sad.
Proposition 9 – More rights for victims of crime – Passed
Proposition 10-Support for alternative energy vehicles and natural gas initiatives – Failed.
Proposition 11-Redistricting voting precincts to avoid gerrymandering – Appears to have narrowly passed.
Proposition 12-Easy loan access for veterans – Passed.

To see all the results from local elections, check out the Secretary of State’s website here.

Live blogging the election – November 4th

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The long election season made a star out of baseball statistician Nate Silver, who used his particular skills to create fivethirtyeight.com, a site devoted to analyzing polling data and trends. Yesterday his site predicted a 98.1% probability of an Obama win. Today we find out if he and his numbers live up to the hype or he crashes and burns as fast as he soared up.

6:30 A.M.: The tiny town of Dixville Notch in New Hampshire was the first to announce its results yesterday and Obama beat McCain by 15 votes  to 6. The last time the town voted in a Democrat was 1968. A harbinger, or just something for us to hang our hat on till the first results come out around 3 p.m. pacific?

Exit polls from early voting reveal a significant lead for Obama but the remaining voters are polling in a dead heat. Anything can happen. Here we go………..

7:06 A.M.: Barack and Michelle Obama have finished voting. Obama heads to Indiana to continue campaigning. The lage Biden family singlehandedly swings Delaware.

8:40 A.M.: Back from school drop-offs. Turns out Thornton Junior high, my son’s school is a polling place. A line snaked out from the polling room..not too long though. it was great to see democracy in action.

CNN reports bad weather in…..the ‘Red’ states! Hmmm, are all those prayers in Coimbatore working? Off to my polling place now. If you haven’t voted yet, go, go, go. Even votes in blue states count- if the results are close, a solid lead in the popular vote will give the candidate a better mandate.

9:17 A.M.: I did it! Just cast a historic vote for Barack Obama, who, if elected, will be the first African American President of the United States. Obama/Biden were fourth on the list in my precinct, after Cynthia McKinnley, Alan Keyes and Ralph Nader. Like a nervous test-giver, I checked and rechecked my inking. In Fremont, California, we don’t bubble in our selection – we draw a line connecting two sections of a broken arrow. There is a touchscreen voting machine, but nobody uses it and the poll workers don’t encourage it. It sits on its lonesome off to one side and is generally brought out only in case someone with a disability needs it.

If you are reading this, share your story of voting today.

9:38 A.M.: The talking heads on TV are being pretty cautious. Looks like it is going to be a close one, no matter what the pollsters have been saying. Virginia results come in early at 4 p.m. Pacific amd those should provide some idea of which way this election is going. In Indiana, some polls close at 6 and some at 7. I predict a narrow McCain win. If he loses, it is likely to be a landslide for Obama nationwide.

10:28 A.M.: Usual stories of problems with voting machines. In Philly, apparently voting for Obama and then pressing the button for straight Democratic ticket cancels the Obama vote out. Ridiculous. Why can’t we have simple paper ballots everywhere like we do at my precinct? This is the downside of federalism and privatization.

CNN just showed video of a woman making her decision via coin toss. “Heads it’s Obama, tails it’s McCain.” It landed heads. This is in Illinois.

11:32 A.M.: Going to take a break now. From all accounts voters are coming out in droves and treating this election with the seriousness it deserves. There is an electric feeling in the air. Keeping my fingers crossed that all the polls cannot be wrong.

1:05 P.M.: Obama plays basketball with friends. It is a superstitious pre-election ritual.

1:15 P.M.: I don’t think I can just sit around for the next couple of hours for the first results to trickle in. Going to make some calls to Get Out The Vote(GOTV). Montana voters, here I come. If you want to join me, head over to barackobama.com and follow directions.

1:53 P.M. Made a bunch of calls to Montana. Mostly encountered answering machines and left guilt-tripping messages asking them to get their butts off the couch and go vote( ok, not exactly in those terms). The few live ones I got had already voted. Yay!

2:08 P.M.: Still getting frantic emails from the Obama campaign to GOTV. They want a voting number so big it takes care of any kind of voter purge, voter suppression, machine problems….

2:18 P.M.: First exit polls are coming out on CNN. Beware, these were off 4 years ago when they predicted a Kerry victory and left the Democrats with a complete lack of belief in polls since then.

3: 12 P.M.:First results are due any moment from Kentucky and Indiana. Some polls in Indiana close at 4 pm Pacific.

3:21 P.M.: Early results from Kentucky going 59-40 for McCain. Yawwwn.

3:28 P.M.: Early results from Indiana. About 19000 votes in. Obama leading 55-44.

3: 37 P.M.: Indiana neck and neck now. At 4 the polls close in the Obama friendly counties.

3:50 P.M.: Still close in Indiana. According to 538.com, the counties that have reported are showing a much better result for Obama than they did for Kerry four years ago.

4:00 P.M.: CNN calls Vermont for Obama and Kentucky for McCain. No surprises.

4:18 P.M.: Virginia, Indiana, Georgia polls have closed but too close to call.

4:24 P.M. Politico has a great map on the home page that allows you to look at county by county results in each state.

6:35 P.M. Ohio goes to Obama. Time to break out the champagne?

6:45 P.M.  John King of CNN performs his magic on the board. Looks tough for McCain even if he wins all teh battleground states he is trailing in right now. Results are slow in coming in, the turnout was probably overwhelming for the election officials around the country.

7:39 P.M. Congratulations, President-elect Barack Hussein Obama!!!!!!!!!!!

Obama for President

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Let me say at the outset that this post is for those few people who are still waffling about their choice on Election Day(tomorrow..finally!) If you have a) made up your mind and b) are surely going to vote tomorrow, this post is not for you.

However, if you fall in that prized category of “Undecided Voter”( by which I’m assuming you were just unfrozen from the cryogenic sleep you were in for the last two years) let me try and make the case for voting for Senator Barack Obama for President.

If you are an ex-Hillary supporter and can’t quite bring yourself to vote for the guy who outmaneuvered a deserving candidate in the Democratic primaries – Hold your nose and pull the lever for Obama. You will have the satisfaction of knowing that however much they(and you)may disagree on Obama’s readiness to be President, Obama and Clinton agree on policies as closely as two different human beings can.  As for readiness, could the Obama campaign have done anything better in the last eighteen months? The ability to create and motivate a team of talented professionals who stay on message, display intense loyalty and close-lippedness over an incredibly hard fought election surely is resume-worthy. Those gray hairs on Obama’s closely cropped head have been hard earned. Besides, Hillary Clinton has had the intelligence and maturity to throw her whole-hearted support behind Obama. Follow her excellent example.

If you are a conservative has never voted for a Democrat before but who started doubting McCain after the Palin pick and some more after the economic crisis – Congratulations! You are to be commended for your intelligence. Contrary to the picture being painted by the McCain campaign, Obama is first and foremost a pragmatist, who respects the constitution only as a scholar of constitutional law can. He welcomes diversity of opinion but is firmly in the driver’s seat when it comes to decision making. His ability to be on good terms with people he disagrees with will be an invaluable asset in foreign policy, where he will have the talent to make world leaders with competing agendas feel like he understands and empathizes with their point of view while doing exactly what he wants.

If the gridlock on the Hill over the last 16 years has been a point of frustration for you, think about the advantage of having a President who has demonstrated the capability of making his worst enemy( with initials of W.J.C.) work for him.

If Obama’s tax policy is your sticking point – I bet you remember the Clinton years fondly. The stock market was up, the budget had a surplus, venture capitalists would listen your ideas for the next big thing. Well, your tax rates are just going back to what they were then. Not too bad, huh?

If you are an Indian American – I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of having my mom gleefully point out every Saturday morning how everything is going great in India and how awful things are in the US. Electing a president who is part of a racial minority is the first step in my fight back to reclaim the greatness of this wonderful country. I am also hopeful that with Obama as president, we will start taking steps to restore dignity to the office of the Presidency and be able to legitimately claim an intelligent and thoughtful leader . ( And no mom, Sikh Prime Ministers and women Prime Ministers don’t count – they are not elected directly by the people.)

If you are just too busy tomorrow to take a chance on those long lines at your polling place – Oh come on! Unplug that Crackberry, pack a book, a cap and a folding chair and head to the election booth. This will give you the right for the next 4 years to complain endlessly about why the government is not working for you.

Go forth and VOTE.

If you actually have policy questions( boy, do you have a cram session coming), we have a series of articles on the two candidates’ position on various issues.

Did I mention that I will be live-blogging the election tomorrow? Starting 6:30 a.m. Pacific. Enjoy.

Movie review – Roadside Romeo

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On paper it looks like such a slam dunk; Yash Raj Films, a top quality production house with access to the biggest talents in Bollywood, and Disney Films, an animation giant, collaborating to make a cutting-edge animated movie entirely produced in India. On screen, the result is pretty sad.

Created at the Tata Elxsi’s Visual Computing Lab in Bangalore, Roadside Romeo is the story of a resourceful dog who manages to survive and thrive in the mean streets of Mumbai after being abandoned by his affluent owners. Saif Ali Khan gives voice to the lead character and Kareena Kapoor is his glamorous amour, Laila.

Trailer of Roadside Romeo( much better than the movie)

As a parent of two, I have suffered through several humdrum animated movies aimed at kids and as such my expectations were not very high to start with. But Romeo is a particularly pathetic effort.

For one, this is a movie very confused about who its target audience is. One might make the assumption that it is the small fry, but then you have the item numbers! Imagine nude but anatomically neutral dogs doing sexy moves – it is a truly creepy sight. Then there is the heavy emphasis on Bambaiyya slang for most of the movie’s humor quota – not only is it completely lost in translation, but I suspect it is a caricature even to people in India. Though Javed Jaffrey as Charlie Anna with Karunanidhi looks and a heavy “Madrasi” accent is one of the bright spots in the movie,  the humor is lost to someone who is reading the subtitles to make sense of the movie.

This would have been a small obstacle if the movie had other redeeming qualities, but the script falls short – there are several moments which I can only describe by the radio term “dead air”- nothing happens for several frames. It is a shortcoming inexcusable in an animated movie, where the pace is supposed to be frenetic.

The story is also all over the place – is it about Romeo’s survival skills? It about his romance? Is it an action movie involving gangsters? Roadside Romeo uses every cinematic cliche associated with Bollywood, and just like the rest of Yash Raj Films have been doing lately, falls flat on its face.

Saif and Kareena ham it up, but it can’t save the movie. Having big names behind the microphone is a Hollywood tradition, but even here that can’t guarantee box-office success( witness the fate of “Bee Movie”, voiced by Jerry Seinfeld.)

In the end, Roadside Romeo falls victim to the same malaise that has been plaguing both Disney and Yash Raj Films – it is out of touch with the times, making movies using a formula that needs to be retired pronto. Hopefully its failure does not discourage the nascent animation efforts in India; there are wonderful stories waiting to be told and creative storytellers who can tell them – all that is required is the courage to break the mould.

Madhavi- my second-hand encounter with breast cancer

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By Aarti Johri

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. For most women, as they see this advertised, it is a mental reminder to schedule their next mammogram or doctor’s visit. For many others, it is a bitter reminder of loved ones lost, or battles fought against this dreadful disease. I am relatively fortunate that in my immediate circle of friends and family I have not yet directly witnessed the struggle against this or any other cancer.  But even I have met many a victim of this disease; I am also part of the shared pain it brings.

I met Madhavi at my friend Swati’s home about 10 years ago. We hit it off immediately, and each time Swati threw a party, I looked forward to enjoying some good laughs with Madhavi. I soon realized that Madhavi knew a lot more about my life than I did about hers. I learnt that Madhavi had been diagnosed with breast cancer when her younger child was three, the older was about seven. For the past fifteen years, Madhavi and her family have lived successfully with this dreaded disease. As the years have rolled by, life has continued, and normalcy has prevailed, in spite of the extraneous inmate at home. Madhavi’s oldest child has joined Yale University; the younger is a senior at High School. Madhavi worked through most of this, and by the way, also earned a PhD in Computer Science.

About four years ago Madhavi was teasing me about our infrequent get-togethers. She mentioned my annual Diwali get-together; she said she wanted to attend at least one. I promptly invited her, but the dates did not work out for her. Last year I learnt that her cancer had begun to take a serious turn. I thought about all our meetings, perhaps ten in all. I remembered them being full of laughter and jokes, but could not recall the details of even a single one.

Earlier this month, I learnt that Madhavi was sinking fast; Swati told me “the doctors don’t give us much hope”. I struggled to hold onto some of my memories with her, I suddenly remembered quite a few. I recalled that Madhavi once brought an enormous flan for Swati’s party. While I could make one too, I had wondered how she made such a large one hold. I had made a mental note to call and ask her- I never did.  I recalled a dinner conversation at Strait’s Café. I was questioning the wisdom of an upcoming construction project we were embarking on. Madhavi dismissed my misgivings that it might not be “worth it”, because my children would be heading off to college a few years after the construction was scheduled for completion. Don’t be silly, she said, your children will thoroughly enjoy their home for the five years that they will still be home. Madhavi and her husband had also completed a major reconstruction to their home.

My annual Diwali event was less than a month away.  I knew, when I sent out the invitation, that Madhavi would be unable to attend. I still prayed that a miracle would occur; she has won before, why not this time. But miracles don’t always occur, and Madhavi passed away on Oct 7th. I struggle to come to terms with this. It is hard to accept that we will not share any more laughs, that I will not be able to seek any more nuggets of wisdom on bringing up teens from her.

As I calm my grief, I think of some lessons I have learnt:
1. I may never learn to make a flan for forty.
2. Life’s toughest challenges can be met, and met well.
3. Savor each and every moment, they are all worth it.
4. Everyone who touches your life touches it for a reason.
I know why Madhavi’s touched mine.

Community Calendar – October 31 – November 5, 2008

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Snippets:

– Enakshi’s book “Naina’s Adventure” is 50% off at her website. A good gift idea for the holidays.

– Our Bandhavgarh friends are bringing us another music concert in the jungle – Advait Utsav.

–GiveIndia is sponsoring an essay contest for kids with great prizes.Details here. Deadline is October 31, 2008.Water, No Ice › Edit — WordPress

– AICON Gallery presents – Pakistan Contemporaries

Upcoming Events: